So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
