Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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