I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I am naked and annoyed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
