Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
