Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
