Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize