yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
