I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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