Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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