I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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