Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
