I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
do nipples grow back?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
