You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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