Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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