C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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