We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
and she was petting her beer can
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
