Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Couch. On fire.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
