i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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