Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
