I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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