The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
