so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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