Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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