Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom... http://tfl.nu/aduc
  Replies (80) Good night (1032) Bad night (6405)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it http://tfl.nu/bivl
  Replies (15) Good night (1220) Bad night (6707)
• Favorite

  (03): View more from

  you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (03): you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!! http://tfl.nu/e67e
  Replies (18) Good night (6993) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music http://tfl.nu/qvs5
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (3117)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07" http://tfl.nu/j0aw
  Replies (12) Good night (2601) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2336) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have no recollection of sleep choking you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I have no recollection of sleep choking you http://tfl.nu/6fhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1566) Bad night (2218)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good. http://tfl.nu/f0em
  Replies (7) Good night (2924) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present http://tfl.nu/3ku6
  Replies (2) Good night (1265) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line. http://tfl.nu/hznj
  Replies (10) Good night (769) Bad night (1572)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Who showers for four hours?!

  (760): View more from California

  It was like a tropical nap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Who showers for four hours?! (760): It was like a tropical nap. http://tfl.nu/5ez6
  Replies (4) Good night (1292) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions? http://tfl.nu/lmc7
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You're a good person. Sharing is caring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done. (904): You're a good person. Sharing is caring. http://tfl.nu/jz12
  Replies (0) Good night (1013) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself. http://tfl.nu/rz6k
  Replies (5) Good night (1074) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news. http://tfl.nu/vv9l
  Replies (0) Good night (310) Bad night (215)

Randomize