Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.

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  (865): One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat. http://tfl.nu/8o5d
  Replies (18) Good night (2999) Bad night (782)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex

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  (202): the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex http://tfl.nu/fw26
  Replies (12) Good night (5227) Bad night (947)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day

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  (334): just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day http://tfl.nu/5gym
  Replies (11) Good night (932) Bad night (3080)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.

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  (409): We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men. http://tfl.nu/lrdt
  Replies (22) Good night (1778) Bad night (3496)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

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  (615): If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face http://tfl.nu/2kqd
  Replies (9) Good night (4085) Bad night (810)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He told her it was international road head day.

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  (720): Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min? (303): He told her it was international road head day. http://tfl.nu/xtw8
  Replies (11) Good night (5245) Bad night (1099)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think thats healthy man...

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  (970): im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful. (303): i dont think thats healthy man... http://tfl.nu/vurl
  Replies (6) Good night (2211) Bad night (606)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job

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  (435): For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job http://tfl.nu/nykr
  Replies (6) Good night (2126) Bad night (517)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.

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  (941): He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward. http://tfl.nu/8plk
  Replies (33) Good night (2666) Bad night (855)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it

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  (570): Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it http://tfl.nu/gvlt
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (468)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain

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  (787): She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain http://tfl.nu/0oj5
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (454)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

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  (936): The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant. http://tfl.nu/br3c
  Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (494)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk

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  (315): Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk http://tfl.nu/g5v5
  Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.

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  (727): I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/f77x
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Do they make liter beers?

  (727): View more from Florida

  They make 40s

  (510): View more from California

  Do they make 2 liter beers

  (727): View more from Florida

  They make 2 40s

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  (510): Do they make liter beers? (727): They make 40s (510): Do they make 2 liter beers (727): They make 2 40s http://tfl.nu/pvof
  Replies (11) Good night (879) Bad night (213)

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