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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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• 

  29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.

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• 

  21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  You were drinking Everclear weren't you?

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• (925): View more from California

  Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!

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• (760): View more from California

  Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from

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