honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...