Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.

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  (812): I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads. http://tfl.nu/xmw8
  Replies (33) Good night (8446) Bad night (717)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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  (201): i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting http://tfl.nu/qjw5
  Replies (7) Good night (1217) Bad night (4021)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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  (618): we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning http://tfl.nu/44lc
  Replies (3) Good night (3028) Bad night (1480)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night

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  (314): You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night http://tfl.nu/nbdz
  Replies (13) Good night (1715) Bad night (4513)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb

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  (503): gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb http://tfl.nu/zgfq
  Replies (24) Good night (4449) Bad night (1243)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.

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  (203): They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care. http://tfl.nu/9gbe
  Replies (6) Good night (2241) Bad night (1296)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Blow your rape whistle

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  (336): Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar (1-336): Blow your rape whistle http://tfl.nu/5qj3
  Replies (22) Good night (3124) Bad night (1208)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.

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  (317): He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. http://tfl.nu/b8h5
  Replies (27) Good night (981) Bad night (6889)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

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  (937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0
  Replies (12) Good night (1887) Bad night (759)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.

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  (317): Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina. http://tfl.nu/djvg
  Replies (7) Good night (2864) Bad night (810)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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  (250): I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick. http://tfl.nu/pl6y
  Replies (19) Good night (1097) Bad night (2035)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was the birthday sex?

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.

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  (610): How was the birthday sex? (1-610): Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs. http://tfl.nu/8fjx
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (2225)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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  (330): The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/09ej
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (411)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.

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  (540): Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar. http://tfl.nu/gi8s
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (311)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling

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  (203): don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling http://tfl.nu/liv2
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (180)

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