What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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