Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
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Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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