stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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