Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize