Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
