She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
