after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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