You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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