Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
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My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.