A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?