I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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