Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars