What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud