the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS