I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just invented taco cereal.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
