He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
