Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
