The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
