Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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