Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
