There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
