I just made out with a guy for $7.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
