from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
