my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
