It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
