I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
