Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
