marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
