sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
