The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
