Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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(631): View more from New York

By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.

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(425): View more from Washington

WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.

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(740): View more from Ohio

MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!

(813): View more from Florida

Your in the library.

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