I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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