can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just had sex bonerless
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
