scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
