I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
