She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
