I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Randomize
