he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
