JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize