try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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