You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
