I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
